Wednesday 6 January 2016

Stash the Movie and Other Knitting Fables


Jerome was trying to popularize the new extreme sport he'd invented and called "blind biking", but it didn't seem to be taking off.





Martina and Boris felt that their ballet corps' new costume designer hadn't quite grasped the concept of the classic pas de deux.





Ursula's latest design represented the tragic plight of a late season dandelion that had barely survived an encounter with a lawn mower, and was also designed to help its wearer survive a heat wave without air conditioning.





When Raphaela's first knitting project didn't turn out well and even her attempts at darning over her mistakes proved an embarrassment, she found a way to make it wearable. Her knitting circle urged her to rip it out and begin again, but Raphaela's life philosophy was all about moving forward, not do overs.





Marnie considered knitting to be a time sink. Macramé was much more her speed, particularly if she could stay in perpetual motion while she was wearing it so that no one would have a chance to assess her work.





When Creighton decided to take up hiking, she knitted a hiking costume that would double as a two-piece sleeping bag, and then had her staff roll out a custom-fitted white carpet before her in order to keep the soles of her boots clean as she walked in the woods. People had always said that her life of extreme privilege as the daughter of a multi-billionaire who owned and lived on his own island (populated only by his employees) had unfitted her for real life, but they didn't know how practical and creative she could be.





After Gavin made one too many comments about his girlfriend's inability to finish any of the knitted items she'd promised him, he suddenly found himself standing outside her apartment wearing her entire pile of unfinished projects while the apartment door slammed shut and noisily locked behind him.





Everyone told Coral that her new knit dress was really very cute and sharp in itself and needed no special styling, but she thought she couldn't consider the look complete without some really special, head-turning millinery.





"Stash", the titular character from the new craft-themed horror franchise Stash, got a great reaction from the audience during test screenings. Knitters and crocheters in the audience especially reported that he definitely played upon their worst craft room fears.





"Stitch Ripper Face" also proved popular with test audiences, but the producers and director of Stash decided to reserve him for a later movie.

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